Hey Bug,
I can't really call you "Bloophus" any more...because it described you better when you were just this gurgling, drooling, helpless little blob of goo.
Now you're this little boy that I can actually talk to. When I leave in the morning you should "BYE DADOO!" When I come home you go pound on the screen door and scream "DAAAAAAD!"
Which makes me think that, eventually, I won't have to tell you things on this blog. I can just do it in-person.
When I was in my 20s I kept a journal. I didn't write in it every day, but I wrote enough so that it was over 100 pages long by the time I stopped. I wrote in it for a number of reasons. First because I needed a place to talk about things completely honestly -- without worrying about being boring or being forced to say "polite" things. Secondly I was a fairly lonely young man. I had plenty of friends and a great family...but I couldn't talk to those people about the things I really wanted to talk about because it was private, embarrassing, boring, or all three. Finally, I just really wanted to document that time in my life.
When I started dating someone I thought it would get better, I wound up being pretty unhappy...and I would write in my journal to "vent." When I read back my entries from those years I sound very mean-spirited and bitter. Not that I was unhappy all of the time, but when I was unhappy I would write in the journal.
Eventually that relationship ended and I started dating your mother. Surprisingly my journal entries got fewer and farther apart until I stopped writing in it altogether. I just didn't have anything to say...and if I did, I just said it to your mom.
I'm telling you this stuff for two reasons. First, if you feel like you've got no one that you can talk to honestly, just know that you can always talk to me if you want. I hope we never get to a point where you feel like you can't talk to me in spite of the fact that I'm your DAAAAAD.
Second, I want you to remember that, no matter what, you must try to be happy. At all times. If you've got something in your life that is just constantly making you unhappy (no matter what it is) then get rid of that thing as soon as possible. I spent far too much of my life being unhappy for one reason or another, and I've really got no one but myself to blame for that.
Finally, always be honest to yourself. It's harder than it sounds -- we lie to ourselves all of the time, and that causes a lot of unhappiness. If you can talk to me, then great. If you only feel comfortable talking to a journal, that's fine too. But promise me that you'll have at least one place where you can go to be completely honest. It's good for your head.
Okay. That's all for now. Love you, bud.
Daaaaaaaaaaad
